CJB - Walk & Talk Show #1 (About Dating & Love)

Hello and welcome to the CJB Show. That's what I'm calling it for now, anyway. This is a new thing I'm just trying. It's literally a raw chat with you. No video, just voice. I'm actually recording this on Voice Notes. There you go, there's a little plug. I get no financial incentive for that, but I was very fortunate enough to get on the $50 lifetime deal, so I get to use this for $50. Basically, it records what I'm saying now, audio voice notes, and then it AI transcribes it into writing as well if you want that too. I don't know if they've got any other deals; I'm literally, as I say, not affiliated with it, just explaining that I'm using it right now to deliver you this CJB Show.

Today, okay, today as I'm walking by the way, so if I sound a bit weird, I am walking. I've just walked up the Welsh hills, the Shropshire hills; it merges into one, so I don't know which one I'm in. I might be in Wales now, I think I was in Shropshire about 20 seconds ago. So yeah, the show today is going to sound a bit weird because I'm walking, and it's all about love, but there's got to be some because love is a huge, huge thing to discuss. So let's get really specific; so dating and finding love. So I had a bit of a weird one, I swore I'd never do it, but I went back onto a dating app. I'm not going to give that plug, and I did meet someone. I have to admit, I just absolutely hate dating apps. I just don't like this way the digital world has opened up this new wave of thinking whereby when you're on the dating app, you're basically shopping for an Amazon product, so you expect the other person to be exactly what you want, and then when you meet them in real life, it's like, "Oh no, that's not it, I'm going to return it, please." And you can pretty much guess sort of where I'm going with this.

So I met someone who is lovely. I'm not going to diss them at all. They are lovely, and if you're listening, thank you for listening. And you are still lovely. I think you're fantastic. There's no ill will or anything towards you whatsoever. But I love to analyze life, and I love to help other people that might be going through the dating game and trying to understand love themselves and what it is. And so, where I'm going with this is we chatted for quite a while. She saw my CJP.today blog, so she knew who I was. She saw videos, so she knew what I looked like, if you like, in 3D. It wasn't just like a picture, so when she met me, I would be like a complete surprise, and she liked what she heard, etc., etc., and we met up yesterday. And as much as I have got to the stage where my agoraphobia is well and truly analyzed, and I know what it is, it is just literally all verbal diarrhoea in your head, which is what any anxiety is, and there is a combination of the physical too, which I'll probably get on to. But what I do now is I don't give in to the fear. So I went on the date, and I met her, and I thought we had a great time. We hugged when we met, we sat and had a nice chat over a drink in a cafe, had a walk around a Christmas fair, hugged when we said goodbye; things seemed sort of well.

Unknown to her, she wouldn't have known that I'd been having multiple panic attacks whilst I was sitting with her because we went to a crowded place where we had to queue up, which is my worst nightmare. So I was feeling, not visibly, I don't know if I was visibly looking that way, but inside, internally, I should say, I was feeling like I wanted to be sick. So it was really hard to maintain sort of a normal calm sort of approach, but I believe I did because I've had this all my life, and people that I know who have been with me during those events have no idea that in my mind that's happening. But the brilliant thing is, I'm able to go through it, so unlike someone who is giving into the fear and letting it control their life, I've got to an awakened stage where it's like, "Well, do you know what, just let it do its thing." So the only reason I'm saying this to you is not as a pity back from it; I just want to explain the situation of the voice in my head or the physical aspect of my nature. Whether that agoraphobia is a physical thing, because I've had it all my life, it's been programmed into me, so that when I go on dates or things like that, it just, that feeling of nausea and panic just, I don't know, just is always going to be there. But the great news is I've learned to embrace it and think, "Oh well, I love you. You know, carry on, that's just me." And it makes me such a caring person.

This is what I try to convey in my creations and chats like this. I'm not like all those others who say they care. I'm not going to name them, but you can just tell with people whether they really do care. Some coaches, because they sort of at the end of it, go, "Buy my course for, you know, a hundred thousand pounds or dollars or whatever." It's not about the money for me; it is about literally trying to help people that go through the same sort of things that I've gone through when I didn't understand how the brain, how the mind worked, and how everything fits together, which is what my book, "The Power of Everything," is about. I've basically finished the final edit, so I've just got to read it through, and it's almost there. It's almost there. So that's exciting, but the hardest thing for me, by the way, just to segue off from this, the hardest thing for me with everything I've been doing recently is I've been so excited to try and get the message out, like doing my weird videos of me walking with a dog, probably like this chat, weird, or sounds odd. It's because I'm just desperate to get the message out, but the trouble is, you guys listening to this, you haven't actually read my book. So as much as "The Way of Everything," which is the Tao Te Ching that I wrote, is also another part of all this puzzle of what life is all about, my book "The Power of Everything" just explains the lot.

And it's a bit like a good analogy I always use, like Eckhart Tolle trying to do videos and everything about "The Power of Now" when no one's actually heard of that book or read it; it's totally back to front, the whole thing. And by the way, I've just got to say, I know you can't see this, but I am at the top of the Welsh hills, I believe. I am looking across to Shropshire, and it's just stunning. The beautiful green pines, they're just like tickling each other, there's hardly any wind, so it's just very, very gentle. And in the distance, you've got all these wonderful hills that look like a quilt sewn with all different colored greens and browns. It's just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Anyway, let's rewind back into the chat about love. So yeah, we went on the date, and everything, and I got through all my worst fears, which again, to me, is brilliant, and it ended great. You know, I said goodbye, she went off, and I got back, and I thought, "See, one thing I'm totally different, I know nice guys they say finish last, and I think that is true because I think what happens when you first meet someone is they don't get that sort of James Bond excitement." But this is where I think everybody goes wrong, male, female, what have you, is they always want that James Bond excitement to begin with, and they don't realize that the real nice, kind guy is the one that, in about 20, 30 years time of being together, is still kind and nice and there for you when you really, really need them.

So I get home, and without sort of messing around or anything, I just sent a message saying, "Had a lovely time, I think you're beautiful. Let's see where this goes. Hope you get back home safe," just a very short message like that. I didn't want to leave her hanging like, "Do I like her?" I don't play games like that. And then I didn't hear anything back; I thought that's a bit strange. So I thought, "I don't be too eager, you know, stuck going," and I hate these mind games. I thought, "No, I put, are you okay?" And then I get a message back saying, "Oh, I just didn't feel the spark." And again, by the way, no hate towards her whatsoever; in fact, I want to big her up. Whoever goes out with her, it's going to be a really lucky person because she's a loving, really nice person, and she was totally honest, which is, you know, you've got to salute that type of person who just tells you and is brave enough. I know she finds it hard to say that, so I totally salute her for doing that. And it's so good because imagine I know a lot of people that sort of lead people on, if you like, and you know, it's only like months later or what have you that they say, "Actually, I'm not interested." So there are absolutely no bad feelings whatsoever. I'm just using this scenario because it's a real-life scenario, and people go through it.

So the question is, what is love? And that's what this is about. So love, if you read the book, I mean, love basically connects everything. Another reminder, everything I say is stuff you already know. It's not me being condescending, big-headed, or whatever; it's all about we all intrinsically know this stuff. It's all part of nature, it's innate in us, it's just that a lot of us, especially with digital life, just forget what all this stuff is about. But love, it's everywhere, it connects us, it's the glue, the cement, the meaning, everything. It can't really be quantified in human terms, but I'm trying because it's the only way to get your human animal brain to try and understand love. So if you're in a situation where you suddenly get let down where you think love's going to be there, you can understand it a bit more.

So the actual reality is if you live through your soul, if everyone lived through their soul or we all just like morphed into our souls literally in terms of the non-physical soul, we would all just love each other. Now you know, we'd all look at each other and just help each other and love each other. And by the way, to be very clear here, love is not sexual; it's not about sex at all; that's a completely different thing. And also, going back to that analogy of the soul just loving everything without any sort of conditions, it's totally unconditional. Nature loves everything, God loves everything; we're all just part of this massive oneness, the things we know, things we don't know, and it's all joined together by love.

So going back to dating, what's that got to do with it? What the hell's that got to do with what I've just said? We're not, you know, we well, we are all souls, but we are in the human dimension, so we're experiencing this life at the moment. So what does that mean for love? How's that going to help you with your heartache if someone says, "Hey, I don't have the spark with you"? How is it going to help you? So by understanding and knowing and living through your soul that everything loves each other, that's the first base if you like. The first base is actually, do you know what, when you really, truly know that? I don't mean believe it or have faith; I mean you know it as a fact. When you know it, you're okay anyway because the fact is, whether you're rejected or not, it doesn't matter because actually, you all love each other, and you're all connected, and it's just the fact that they probably didn't see it. And now we're starting to get to the crux of it in this human existence, this experience we're having. What we're trying to do here when people connect, and they meet, and they fall in love like in the films, and they get married and have children, that's what they're really doing. And this is the beauty of this human existence, this life, in a human animal sense. And the human animal is your ego, your brain; it's, if you like, the filter you are viewing and experiencing this life through. Basically, in that sense, so I was just—there's a massive tree, it's just falling across the path, I'm just making sure it's safe as I go forward. You can't see this, you're thinking, "Why is he just stopped then?" So I shall approach it slowly. There was a storm here, and this is a massive pine tree that's just, literally, on its last leg, so it could just fall down like a hammer. So I delicately go through there and try to go back through what I'm saying.

So, yeah. So the human experience and connecting it to the power of love. When you meet someone that you want to fall in love with, have a baby with, and have a human experience that we all sort of tend to innately search for because it's procreation, it's companionship, it's sharing the experience with someone else. What you're trying to do and what you're looking for is for the other person to basically plug you into what is already there, which is love. So when you meet the right person, this is why people go, "Oh, I loved her at first sight." What's actually happening is you're seeing that person, and by the way, do not get that confused with lust and sexual attraction because a lot of people do that; there's a different level here. When you meet someone and they truly plug you into love, that's true love. The sexual, sort of attractive connection, actually, that's probably why most marriages and things fail because they haven't connected properly. But when you meet that right person, like if I had gone to the date yesterday and been the right person for her, she would have just felt that love because I'm connecting her to it. And that's also why when you are properly in love, you can be anywhere, even without your partner, and you just feel so happy. I mean, I don't know if you've ever experienced that; it's just so sublime, it's bliss, and that is because that's what we all are; we're all connected by love.

So the whole point is to find that person or look for that person who does connect that feeling. And don't be disappointed if you go on dates and meet someone who doesn't feel it; you cannot force it. There's a bit of nature going on here where it's about the unknown; that's what makes it because it might be that it's the person you're not even looking for whatsoever that you meet one day, or maybe you're working with, and all of a sudden they'll do something, whatever, and it will connect you to the love that is already everywhere. And you'll suddenly go, "Oh my God, I love that person." And the beauty of a relationship is when they feel that way too, and they're like, "Oh my God, I love this person too." And then the power of love is both of you seeing it through each other, and it's just absolute; it's just bliss, it's heaven. And basically, that's what it is. So when you understand love, going back to how does it apply again in my situation? So yesterday, I was, as a human being, quite shocked initially because it's like, "Oh, we had all the... I thought I'd covered all the bases of we had, you know, she'd seen my videos, we'd chatted, we got on, we knew each other's characters pretty well, so why did it suddenly stop?" But because I'm so aware of what love is, I'm able to just heal myself very quickly and go, "Oh, okay, well basically it's out of my control because it is something that is beautiful, something that's unknown, something that is so magical which you can't control." That, it's not her fault, it's not my fault, and actually, it's quite exciting because it means I still haven't found that person, and I can carry on with that excited, "When is Christmas coming?" feeling, which is apt because Christmas is coming up.

I hope this made sense; it's been a bit mad because you can't see it as I keep saying, I am walking through a forest, and I'm literally coming across fallen down trees and things, trying to make my way through them as my dog is also pulling me off in different directions. So I've got this long lead; she keeps pulling like a tug of war, and so if you're hearing clicking noises, that's what that is. But yeah, thank you very much for listening to this first ever CJB Show. I think I'm going to have to come up with a better name than this, but I really look forward to sharing my book, "The Power of Everything," with you, and I hope this sounds all right because I have no idea how this is going to record in terms of the sound. So take care today, have a great day, and just don't worry because at the end of the day, we all love each other.